Murphy's Law

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

That's pretty much my life in a nutshell. I am not a lucky person when it comes to "luck" things, like winning the lottery or gambling. My sister has always been lucky in those things. I also have a tendency to be unlucky in other things as well, like buying cars. The first one I had died and now I'm searching for another and haven't come up with much. In school, I am a natural learner but I have never been a good student. I find it hard to focus sometimes. On important occasions, my imperfections and lack of luck cause me to stress. Then the law that governs us all becomes even more prevalent, because I let the little things that don't go my way affect me so much, that everything ends up going wrong.  However, I am lucky in many regards. My family, though not perfect, is the best family in the world. My friends are amazing and awesome and I couldn't ask for better. They sometimes notice when I am struggling and sometimes they don't. However, lately it has been more of a struggle than not.
I recently moved from Fast Lamping, where is was living for school and I moved back in with my parents. It was good that I moved because I have a job and I can start saving some money without having to pay for rent. Also I have been in a situation that has caused me some stress for awhile now. I was living in a ministry house near school and I had been living there for two years. I knew it was time to move out or on, but I did not have the options to go anywhere. The school year was starting, I didn't have a job and I could not afford to move anywhere else. Also my heart wasn't in the position it was in two years ago when I moved in. I have been falling and falling hard. There have been ledges to cling to until they break and I fall some more. Until I find Him again, I'll keep falling, I know. I am searching for some many things and He hasn't been one of those things; even though He should be first. It is my sin that I doubt, I fear, and I don't trust. I need Him, but I cannot find Him. I am the lost sheep, the prodigal's son, I only need to find my way back. My life is Murphy's Law. When could've gone wrong, went wrong and I listened to lies. Now it's the hardest because I have to break the chains which I have built around myself and find Him, though He is next to me. If only I opened my eyes to see.

Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Yours forever
Kaleidoscope